Touch (and burn)
by Rock-n-Round
Summary: AU. Natsume shuns touch because he burns others, but Mikan is touchy. And she is curiously warm, Natsume notes. Natsume-centric. Has hints of little Natsume and university life. One-shot.


**A/N**: Decided on the train I was going to put my spare time to use. The result: the longest one-shot I've written. Tried a hand at something new, hope you'll like it :)

* * *

**Touch (and burn)**

**by Rock-n-Round**

* * *

_**N**_atsume thinks that he might be six when it started.

He had been playing soccer with Ruka, their gleeful shouts carrying throughout the backyard. His mother had called them in to rest, seeing that the weather had been a lot less relentless as of late. Begrudgingly, Ruka obeyed and trudged his way toward the sliding doors. But Nastume did not budge. He stayed rooted to the earth and crossed his arms. "Ma, I'm not going in. I want to play!"

Ruka frowned at his best friend. "You know Aunt Kaoru would just drag you in right?"

Natsume pouted and looked away sharply. "I don't care! I want to play!"

His mother had come out then, eyebrows sitting in a "V" at the top of her eyes. She had never been the patient type, Natsume mused. She had marched straight out, bare feet stomping at the freshly cut grass as she made her way towards Natsume. Then she grabbed at his wrists, only to pull away again quickly with a gasp. She made a face, and Natsume mirrored it.

As quickly as she left, her hands started flying over everywhere, hands worrying over his face and his neck. Her hands felt so cool against his warm skin. He scowled. "Are you feeling fine, Nat?" His mother had asked then, and he was confused. The young boy just nodded, head tilted in innocent curiosity.

"I'm perfectly fine, Ma. I just want to play more!" he gave his best puppy-dog face, and then, "Please?"

His mother had huffed then, and shook her head. "You seem like you're burning up. Or maybe you're just overheated." She scratched her neck in mild confusion, before bending down. "How about this, Nat? If you listen and come in, I'll let you play longer tomorrow. I'll even throw in some Howalon if you're good."

Natsume had contemplated for a moment, and gave a slow nod in agreement. His mother had let out a breath of relief then, which puzzled Natsume greatly. He felt perfectly fine. Why was she worrying?

He ran into the house and caught up with Ruka, arms bumping as he nearly collided into his best friend. The blonde haired boy had gasped, immediately drawing back his arm, as if burnt. Then he had started crying as he cradled his arm, and Natsume panicked. "What, what happened? Are you okay, Ruka?" He tried to approach the sobbing boy, only for Ruka to push him away. When Ruka brought up a hand to scrub away his fat tears, Natsume saw a red, angry mark on Ruka's unmarred white skin.

Ruka was burnt.

* * *

The next time it happened was when he was eight.

He took a step in front of Aoi, shielding her from the boys that were bugging her at the playground. He felt his younger sister cower behind him, little hands fisting the back of his shirt for comfort, forehead resting against his shoulder.

"Stay away from her," he had warned, eyes narrowing at the bullies before him. They had snickered, after all, it was three against one. Whatever could a scrawny young boy do to them?

A blink later and it was a flurry of motion. Both of the taller bullies went after him and grabbed at either side of his arms, while the third went in for his sister. When he saw the bullies tug at his sister's locks, Natsume thinks that he had probably never been angrier in his eight years of life. He had struggled and twisted and turned, clawing and biting at the two bullies by his side and he successfully writhed out of their grasp. Blinded by anger, he lunged for the stupid bully that was harassing his sister, pinning the grubby boy with his weight and using his hands to hold his wrists down. All Natsume felt was anger and all he saw was his sister's safety. He did not hear the pained hisses and cries coming from the older boy beneath him.

Natsume only let go when his sister started crying behind him. Then he realized that he smelt something like soot, something that reminded him of the barbeque his family had held at their backyard a week before.

Natsume learnt a day later that there was a boy in his neighborhood that was sent to the hospital for third degree burns. No one believed his bull when he said that "a red-eyed boy set me on fire".

Natsume knew it was him.

* * *

In the years following that, all Natsume remembers was that for a large part of his life, he had spent it avoiding touch.

His parents had been extremely worried when they suddenly noticed a change in the boy's demeanor. The once stubborn, noisy brat was withdrawn and quiet, barely speaking unless spoken to, and shying away from human contact and touch as much as possible. They visited many clinics and hospitals, hoping to understand what had changed him. Natsume never uttered a word. His parents were baffled when the doctors explained it as trauma. But Natsume had never been into an accident or had any fights, they had told all the doctors. They always left with both the doctors and themselves equally confused at the end of the day. They eventually gave up, settling with trying to coax Natsume out of his self-built shell.

The people Natsume was afraid of touching the most was always Ruka and Aoi. He treasured the two of them with his life, and he would never have let himself live it down if he were to injure them with his newfound "power". _It's not your fault,_ Ruka had assured him. But Natsume knows it is.

And that was why when he was eleven, he decided that he had enough of avoiding people. He decided that he was going to train himself, even if he did not know how he was to start. Natsume began having longer showers, leaving the heater off. He sat in the bathtub for ages, trying to warm up the water with his ability. It was too cold for first two days, and too hot for the next two days. He got it right on the fifth day, when he managed to prepare a lukewarm bath. He thinks that it must have been the best bath he ever had. He had smiled in happiness then, the first real smile he had shown in three years.

Natsume moved on to other things after training with bath water for another ten days. He found that he could boil water with ease now, and moved onto heating up solid objects like metal rulers and on a more daring occasion, paper. The paper had singed then, and Natsume frightened himself when he smelt smoke coming out of the paper. He threw the paper on the ground, stomping on it so hard that his parents had barged in and asked Natsume if anything was wrong. He shook his head and plastered a smile on his face, saying that he was trying to a find a way to crumple paper as fast as possible. His parents gave him an incredulous look before closing the door cautiously. Natsume internally slapped himself then, thinking that it must have been _the worst excuse ever in the history of excuses._ He never tried paper again after that.

Ruka's birthday rolled by a month after that incident. Aoi and a couple of his (few) other friends decided to throw a surprise party for him. Kokoroyomi had forgotten to bring the lighter even with the countless reminders from Aoi and (surprisingly) Kitsuneme. Knowing that Ruka would end class in less than ten minutes, the four of them quickly devised a plan. Aoi would run to the school's cafeteria and ask for a lighter, while Koko and Kitsu would try to stall for the siblings as long as possible. When the three left, Natsume had stared at the cake. Natsume eyed the three candles, one large and two small, which were neatly placed onto the cake, courtesy of his little sister. He wondered if he could create real fire. A glowing, brilliant flame. Natsume shifted his powers and mentally switched it on. He concentrated on creating heat on the candle rope, biting on his lips and furrowing his brow. Create a heat, more friction, a light-

Natsume doesn't even notice when Aoi enters the room again with a sunken expression. He snaps his head up at the sound of the closing door, catching her shocked expression as Aoi accuses him. "Brother, why didn't you say that you had a lighter?" Natsume was momentarily puzzled. His eyes dart from his sister to the cake. He gasps inaudibly.

He actually did it. There were three flames staring back at him, as brilliant as he imagined.

"…sorry?" Natsume had managed through his stupor. Aoi merely gave a small mock 'tsk' before beaming at her brother again.

That night, Natsume goes to sleep with dream of fires plaguing his home, with hot flames licking at his family, with cries of pain echoing through his mind.

* * *

Natsume was wrong when he thought that learning to control his power would give him more confidence in touching people. Instead, it only made him more wary, as he now knew the extent of his powers. What if he suddenly lost control? What if his nightmares came true? What if, what if what if _what if_-

His parents, Aoi and Ruka seem further and further away from him, yet safer and safer _from_ him. His parents frown at the increased withdrawal and the sudden appearance of eye bags beneath Natsume's beautiful red eyes. But Natsume feels better.

He thinks that this is better.

* * *

Natsume keeps a safe distance from his friends and family, only touching them when absolutely required. He tries not to worry them as much as he did though, soon phasing out of his unstable state when the nightmares soon vanish.

"You know, Natsume," Ruka starts one day as they sit on opposite ends of the couch when he comes for a sleepover, "I don't know why you don't touch people anymore but, you do know I'll always be here right? You can count on me to keep your secrets and nothing will change." Natsume looked down, studying the carpeted floor. But Ruka does not waver. He looks at his best friend and waits for a reply. Natsume can just feel the sincerity dripping from Ruka's words, feel the intensity of worry and empathy from Ruka's gaze and he feels the longing- the mutual longing- for the normalcy of touch. Ruka has never touched Natsume ever since Natsume shunned him away when they were nine. Natsume meets Ruka's gaze.

"When I was six, I think I burned you."

Natsume cries and lets Ruka hold him for the first time in three years.

* * *

He regains some of his long lost bratty self and stubbornness. His parents are oddly overjoyed even though he still shuns touch.

* * *

Natsume is nineteen when he meets the touchiest girl _ever_.

The first time he encounters her is when she bumps into him in the hallway at university. Literally. One moment he was turning around the corner, and the next there were papers flying everywhere, with a chanting of _"sorry sorry sorry, sooooo sorry"_. He scowls when his butt meets the floor, and he notices a brunette across him in the same position. Her skirt had ridden up with her knees up like that, and Natsume rolls his eyes at the sight.

She was a flurry a limbs as she gathered the fallen papers, her words of apology endlessly flowing from her mouth. He decides to leave as quickly as possible then, standing up to brush himself off before trying to jet off. Then he feels warm, slim fingers wrapping around his wrists, and he jerks away in shock.

"Where are you going? Aren't you going to reply me, you jerk?" Her forehead is creased. "I know I bumped into you but it's an accident and I said sorry already so why can't you at least say that you forgive me so that I won't feel bad and sad and wallow in misery-"

But all Natsume can think about in her ramble is the feeling of her _warm _skin pressed against hers. It was _warm_. Before he could think properly, he blurts out. "You're warm."

This effectively stops the girl mid-sentence. She shoots him a confused glance. "I am?" She lets go of him (_no, don't please, you're actually warm,_ Natsume silently thinks) and presses the same hand to her forehead. "I don't think I'm running a fever."

Natsume runs off then, ignoring her protests of _"hey, wait up, forgive me, you jerk!"_ and only stops when he is in the boy's bathroom.

That was the first time Natsume Hyuuga is touched by the girl.

He does not forget the feeling of her warm skin on his.

* * *

Natsume soon learns that (not that he's interested or anything, _psh_) that girl's name is Mikan Sakura, after silent information gathering (gossiping) from Ruka and Aoi. In fact, Mikan's actually a close friend of Ruka's, which Natsume was surprised to find out. _Where have you been man? _was Ruka's incredulous answer and Natsume all but snorts.

He observes her from afar, and soon realises that the girl is really, really touchy. She glomps her best friend (Hotaru Imai, he notes with amusement) when she sees her every morning. She flies into the embrace of her favourite teacher (Narumi, he notes with disgust) every time she greets him in the hallways. She pinches Ruka's cheeks every time she meets him (or _Ruka-pyon_ as she calls him, Natsume notes with some jeal- no, nope, not jealousy). She holds hands with whoever she's walking with, and it's rare to see her alone.

Another thing he learns is that she's too bubbly. She is all sun and ponies and rainbows, leaving trails and trails of fairy dust and glitter everywhere, even in the dumpster. If anyone could make a dumpster seem like a utopia, that would be Mikan Sakura.

"Stop it man, you're being creepy." Ruka's voice wake him up from his thoughts. Natsumes jerks out of his trance and turns to glare at his best friend.

"I didn't do anything," was his simple reply.

Ruka holds back a snort. "You've been staring at the poor girl all lunch. It's a good thing she is the most oblivious person ever, probably." Natsume mentally notes that. (Third thing he learns about her.)

Ruka takes a sip from his iced lemon tea, while Natsume continues to chew on his food. "You know what?" There is an evil glint in the blonde's eyes, and inner Natsume cowers. "I'll introduce you to her." Before Natsume can even protest, Ruka stands up from his seat and waves at her like a lunatic.

"Hey, hey! Mikan! C'mere, I want to introduce you to somebody!" Natsume groans and scowls.

The brunette crosses the cafeteria in a blink of an eye. "Who is it, Ruka-pyon?" She smiles as she pinches Ruka's cheeks. (Again with the touch and the nickname, Natsume wrinkles his nose in thought.)

"This is Natsume Hyuuga, my childhood friend and best friend."

Mikan reaches out a hand to offer a handshake, before pulling back and pointing at Natsume's nose. "You're that jerk that doesn't accept apologies!" She huffs and crosses her arms. "Sorry Ruka, but I'm not gonna be friends with this jerk until he forgives me."

Ruka raises an eyebrow at him, and then turns to Mikan. "That doesn't make sense, Mikan. Shouldn't it be, 'I don't want to be friends with this jerk unless he apologises'?" The brunette shakes her head furiously, and waves her hands around like a headless chicken. Natsume almost laughs.

"Ruka, you don't understand! I hate when people don't forgive me! It makes me feel like I'm indebted to them, like I ruined their day and I'm being mean or like I overstepped a line and it always never fails to eat me and I mean it was just an accident but still-" she babbles on and on and on.

Natsume cuts her off. "I forgive you, so shut it strawberry panties."

There was silence before, "Strawberry _WHAT_?"

That was the second time Natsume Hyuuga is touched by the girl.

Natsume learns something else about Mikan that day. One is that she can be really loud. The second is that she is really strong for a girl. (The bruise doesn't fade for a week.)

* * *

Their third meeting was relatively tame.

Natsume decides to take a nap underneath the now-blooming Sakura trees. He was losing sleep with all the assignments due and mid-terms coming up. Before he could even start to drift off, he hears someone approaching. The person stops next to him. He feels the warmth of the other person. _Warmth._

He does not need to open his eyes to know that it was Mikan Sakura.

"What do you want, strawberry?" He drawls lazily.

He hears a small huff, and cracks his eye in reply. "And here I thought I could save the Titanic that was our friendship." Natsume lets his lips curl upwards in response to her dramatic use of words. Natsume sits up and looks at Mikan in the eyes.

He sticks his hands out awkwardly, and says, "Hi. My name is Natsume Hyuuga. I major in Law."

Mikan grins. "Hi. My name is Mikan Sakura. I major in Literature."

She proceeds to shake his rough, calloused hands. Mikan notes that Natsume was cold to touch.

That was the third time Natsume Hyuuga is touched by the girl, and the first time he initiates human contact in eleven years.

Her hands were as warm as he remembered.

* * *

They meet and touch many times after that.

The pair sneak off in between lunches when Ruka does not notice, meeting at the Sakura tree where they saved their friendship. They share unspoken words through eye contact in the hallway. They slip papers beneath each other's dorm doors, sharing words of encouragement or little exchanges.

Natsume thinks that he has never been happier in his life, until one day he fails a test that he had been studying for because of _stupid, careless_ mistakes. He had been angry then, probably as angry as he had been when the bullies attacked Aoi when he was eight. He puts on a stern face all day, even when he meets Mikan at night after dinner at their Sakura tree.

"Why the long face, Nat?" Mikan asked, but he did not budge. She reaches out to touch his arm, to whisper words of comfort. However, as soon as she laid a finger on him, she draws back and hisses. Natsume's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and scans his eyes over to Mikan's red, angry fingers.

Another _stupid, careless_ mistake.

He swallows and runs.

Natsume falls into a fitful sleep that night, sweating bullets under the duvets as he dreams of fire, blood and Mikan's screams.

* * *

Natsume does not attend classes the next day.

He receives tons of text messages and missed calls from Mikan, and three messages from Ruka. He ignores them all, burying his swollen eyes into the thick, white sheets. He drifts in and out of sleep all day, exhausted from his inner turmoil and shock.

He does not eat the whole day.

(On the other side of the school, Ruka lets Mikan fret as she recounts the story of how she burned herself touching Natsume. Ruka does not respond but his mind is filled with countless murmurs of _shit, shit, shit_-)

* * *

Natsume is oddly relieved to feel like he is on fire the next time he wakes up. His throat is parched and he knows he's hot to touch, yet all he can do is shiver under his blankets and seek its warmth.

Ruka knocks on his door a while after (he knows it's Ruka because only Ruka can wake up so early in the morning, at 530AM no less, Natsume notes through his fevered state). Natsume faintly registers the sound of turning keys, the click of an opening door and a soft "Natsume?" before a string of curses follow.

Natsume would have shaken his head in mock shock at his friend's colourful vocabulary, but all he could do instead was drift off into an uneasy slumber.

He vaguely remembered the feel of something warm (_why was it warm?_ Natsume was sure anything would be cool against his skin now) on his forehead as he allows the darkness to take him.

He dreams of the fires putting themselves out, the heat receding and then, laughter.

* * *

Natsume wakes up to comforting warmth, and a familiar contact weaved through his fingers.

He does not let go, but instead grips it tighter and draws her in, hugging her close.

"Good morning, Nat," Mikan blinks slowly, letting sleep roll off her eyes and smiles at him. He breathes in her scent, mingling with his own and his sweat. He cracks open his red eyes and returns her smile.

Natsume does not reply. Instead, he dips his head down, capturing her lips with his own. Their first kiss was chaste. They separate a while later but soon they kiss again, albeit lazily, lips moving slowly and teeth clashing occasionally in their clumsiness.

They skip classes that day (with some protest from Mikan) but Natsume thinks it was more than worth it.

Natsume finds that he no longer shuns touch.

* * *

**A/N:** How was it? Do leave a review or something if you enjoyed it :) I appreciate it tons!

I loosely added in some of Mikan's nullfication as well, just a fun fact. See if anyone can figure out why Natsume had a fever after burning Mikan ;)


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